In September 2017, Milly Pickles was electrocuted – an accident that changed her life forever. After multiple surgeries including a below knee amputation, she has learned to stand and walk again, run the London Marathon, become the first amputee to complete the Red Bull 400, and presented with Channel 4’s Paralympic broadcast team. She spoke to Enable’s Kate Stevenson
Q: You’ve faced significant challenges in your life, including your amputation. How did you cope with the loss of your leg?
A: I actually interrupted my surgeon when he was weighing up the pros and cons of amputating my leg. I told him “I’m really sorry, but my leg needs to go. I’ve seen it – and it’s not in a very good way.” Having that authority and autonomy over my decision helped me move forward. I couldn’t control what had happened to me. I’d just nearly died, and I was in a lot of pain, but this was my decision. I think if someone else had made it for me, I would’ve struggled more.
Q: What were those early days of recovery like?
A: I was immobile for about two years when I first lost my leg. I wasn’t walking or training. I gained a lot of weight, I developed a binge eating disorder and half of my hair had fallen out due to my trauma. When I looked in the mirror, I wasn’t the same person I used to be, but I still felt like me. Eventually I said to myself ‘enough is enough’. I needed to sort my life out. I started to journal and think about the person I wanted to be. I made a plan and I decided to start going to the gym and exercising four times a week. Going to the gym for the first time in a wheelchair was frightening, but I did it. I stayed consistent, started posting on social media and became a Gymshark Athlete.
Q: You recently ran the London Marathon…
A: I genuinely believed I would have zero issues with my training. I was convinced I was going to absolutely nail it. But I cut my leg during training and couldn’t wear my prosthetic. I was in a wheelchair for three weeks, which wasn’t ideal, but I still wanted to give it my best shot. On the day of the race, everything was going really well till I reached 33km. I looked down and saw I was bleeding through my shoe. I’d been checking on my amputated leg throughout the race but I’d not paid much attention to my human foot. I have three toes on my foot – I have half of my fourth toe, and I’ve lost my big toe. When I got to the medical tent, I realised that the scar from the surgery that saved my foot had opened. It’s really important that I protect the scar, so I decided to walk the last 8km, along with my boyfriend and Joshua Patterson. I still crossed the finish line.
Q: You’ve accomplished so much since your accident. Do you still struggle with what you can and can’t do?
A: My body isn’t aligned with my mind at all. I find it frustrating because I know I’m more capable than my body allows me to be. When I’m in my wheelchair or I’ve got horrible phantom pain, it’s a constant reminder. Last year, I couldn’t walk for three months, and I lived alone in a flat. I couldn’t even take the bins downstairs. In these moments, you realise the world isn’t set up for disabled people.
Q: How important is disability representation in the media?
A: When I was in hospital, I spent hours online looking for people I could relate to. I was desperate to find somebody who could show me that things would get better. I found a beautiful girl from Brazil who helped me a lot, but I couldn’t understand her. My mum suggested I start posting on social media. I was quite inconsistent at the start. The turning point was when I joined TikTok, and one of my videos blew up – I didn’t even mean to post it, but it went viral, and the rest is history. I’m just so glad that I can be the person I never had for other people.
Q: What advice do you have for our readers?
A: Johnny Peacock sent me a video message when I was in hospital. He said: “I know what you’re going through is tough, but soon it will be a distant memory.” That really stuck with me, and it’s true. It’s been seven years since I had my accident and I’ve come so far. You really do get used to being an amputee; you wake up, you put on your leg each day, and it just becomes a new normal. I can’t believe I even had two legs before.
Q: You’ve faced so much adversity, but you’ve not let it stop you. How do you stay positive?
A: “At least I can be in the Paralympics now.” That was the first thing I told my parents after my leg was amputated. It was the first thing I could think of that I couldn’t do before that I could do now. I always try to flip the negative because I very nearly wasn’t here. Leg or no leg, I’m grateful for my life.