ADHD has only been diagnosable in adults since 2008 and is most commonly diagnosed in young boys. Like many girls, Leanne Maskell and Ellie Middleton were both diagnosed during their twenties, years after they left school. Kate Stevenson spoke to them about neurodivergence, their lives and everything in between
Being easily distracted, struggling to focus, constantly fidgeting, always losing things… Just some of the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Increasing numbers of adults are being diagnosed with ADHD as awareness of the neurodivergent condition increases. An adult may be diagnosed if they have five or more of the symptoms listed in the criteria for children, and symptoms should have a moderate effect on the adult’s day-to- day life and relationships.
ADHD coach, professional speaker and author Leanne Maskell got her diagnosis when she was 25 because she was struggling with managing her relationships and finding stability in her life.
“It came about because I was going to kill myself. My life completely spiralled out of control, and I felt so lost,” reveals Leanne. “I’m like a new person now. The difference since I got my diagnosis is astronomical.”
OUTDATED SYSTEM
Although life is very different now for Leanne, the period prior to her diagnosis was dark and lonely. One in four women with ADHD commit suicide because they feel disconnected from society: “We go through life feeling like we’re too much, too hormonal or too emotional,” says Leanne. “But, actually, we have a developmental delay and struggle with our executive functioning skills, which includes regulating our emotions.”
The history of ADHD goes back to the 1700s, and Leanne believes that the diagnostic system is just as outdated. It can be difficult for adult women to get their life-changing diagnoses because criteria are based on hyperactive and adolescent boys. “Hyperactive little boys run around. I wasn’t like that,” she told us. “I would always fall asleep in class, be daydreaming out the window or reading under the table.”
MISJUDGED AND MISUNDERSTOOD
Everyone with ADHD manages their daily life differently, which is why Leanne says it’s “highly situational”. Some doctors told her she was “fine” because she had a law degree and didn’t fit the criteria for ADHD but, at home, it was a different story.
“I can write four books, but I can’t cook myself a meal,” reveals Leanne. “I find it very hard to even clean my house. I’ve managed to create strategies that work for me, but I do still struggle.”
THE NEUROTYPICAL WORLD
Like Leanne, activist, speaker and author Ellie Middleton spent most of her life feeling misunderstood until she was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. “At first it felt like everything was going to be blue skies and rainbows,” discloses Ellie. “But, as time passes, you realise that how you’ve been functioning hasn’t been good for you, and you’ll need to make some changes. There’s still a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ve realised it takes a lot more work.”
Naturally, not every day is perfect for Ellie. With hundreds of thousands of followers on her social media platforms, she might seem like she has it all together online. But she says: “There are still days when I get so frustrated that my brain doesn’t work how I want it to. I know all the things I need to do. I know what will make me feel better, but that doesn’t mean I can do it. One week, I can be on top of the world; the next, I’m back to square one.”
STRUGGLING HEALTH SERVICE
There’s been a lot of recent media attention surrounding ADHD. In some parts of the UK, there’s an eight year backlog for adult assessments and, since 2020, the ADHD Foundation has seen a 400% increase in adults seeking a diagnosis. NHS England is also launching a review of its services.
Ellie encounters a number of neurodivergent people in her life due to her job. Even when she’s at the hairdresser, someone will tell her that “their auntie or sister is in the process of getting a diagnosis.”
She believes social media has helped more people understand ADHD. “There are a lot more women, trans people, queer people, people of colour, people outside of that young white cis boy, who are sharing their experiences now,” divulges Ellie. “I think that’s helped more people to get diagnosed.”
SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT
Celebrities have also been speaking openly about their late diagnoses. These include Lilly Allen, Paris Hilton, Olivia Atwood, Cara Delevingne, Nadia Sawalha, Sue Perkins… and the list continues to grow.
Media attention has also helped society to better understand the condition, but both Ellie and Leanne feel there’s still a long way to go. After all, the world wasn’t built for neurodivergent people and, as Leanne reminds me, ADHD is still classed as a “disorder”.
“I find that I can tell someone I’m autistic and have ADHD, and they’ll have really good intentions of supporting me, but they won’t know how to,” explains Ellie. “They don’t actually know what I’m going to need or the accommodations they need to make.”
Ellie believes the best way to ensure you get support is to communicate your needs with your friends, family, and colleagues. “It can feel like you’re nagging or being a diva, but it’s important to advocate for yourself,” she stresses.
“I hope that – with enough education – people will begin to realise what neurodivergent people need without us constantly reminding them.”
October is ADHD Awareness Month. If you think you might have ADHD or can relate to any of the information in this article, visit adhdfoundation.org.uk or adhdadult.uk for more guidance and support.