Singer-songwriter Talia Mar is finding her truest rhythm in the quiet moments of motherhood. She speaks exclusively to Kate Stevenson about being an autistic first-time mum
The Zoom call flickers to life, and Talia Mar appears with the unmistakable glow of new motherhood: exhaustion in her eyes but joy in her smile. Although she describes herself as “a bit dramatic”, she doesn’t dress anything up during our interview. Not the realities of pregnancy, not the sleepless nights, and certainly not the challenges of motherhood as an autistic woman. “I’m blunt, but I’m honest!” she says, smiling.
A NEW CHAPTER
Fans have always known Talia, now 28, as the powerhouse singer-songwriter, Twitch streamer, and YouTube creator. But beneath her confident stage persona, a quiet doubt lingered: why did the world feel different for her? Why did she process things so intensely?
It wasn’t until adulthood that Talia received her autism diagnosis: a revelation that, in her words, has made her “more forgiving” of herself. “I’d always felt different,” she explains. “When I got my diagnosis, I thought, ‘Oh, this makes sense’. It didn’t feel scary, it was relieving. I could stop blaming myself for being too much, or for finding things harder than other people.”
That self-understanding has come into play recently, as Talia and her husband Simon welcomed their baby daughter in July. “Motherhood has been a whirlwind,” she admits, recognising that her neurodivergence has influenced her journey. “It’s the most incredible thing, but also the hardest. I’d be doing it a disservice if I said otherwise.”
Talia particularly struggles with sensory challenges, and finds that sharp cries can be overwhelming. Noise cancelling headphones have become her lifeline, and the steady hum of the baby’s white noise machine comforts Talia too. “It regulates me,” she clarifies. “It gives me something to tune into, so I’m not so overwhelmed.”
She’s even developed her own grounding technique: rhythmically tapping her daughter’s back to help her focus. “It’s almost like using a fidget spinner, but it’s my baby,” she laughs again. “She loves it too!”
And, while parenthood has no manual, Talia has discovered that her neurodivergence offers surprising strengths: “A friend told me she gets stressed when her baby cries for no reason. It confused me because everything has a reason. I create a logical scenario in my head: maybe she’s got a tummy ache, or a headache – that’s why she’s upset.” It’s a form of systemising – giving every cry a reason – that offers Talia the cognitive closure she needs, and now it helps her friend too.
HEART ON HER SLEEVE
Talia has always been open about her life, and sharing her ASD diagnosis online felt right. It’s helped her challenge misconceptions and, right now, she’s proving that autistic people can be parents too. “The stereotype is that autistic people won’t cope, that it’ll be too much.” She shakes her head: “That’s not the reality.” Talia says autistic people can find ways around the challenges – just like everything else: “If noise is hard, get headphones. If touch is difficult, use gloves,” she suggests. “Think it through, then go for it. You’ll work it out.”
One of Talia’s biggest struggles is structure. It’s always been important for her but, in the past year, it’s taken on a new meaning: “I’ve had to reprogramme what routine means to me. My new routine is waking up and not knowing what the day will bring. I’ve trained my brain to expect the unexpected.”
Talia might look like she has it all together, but she admits being pregnant was far from easy. She suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, a form of extreme sickness that lasted for months. Thankfully, her birth experience – via a planned induction – gave her the structure she craved: “I had a plan and, luckily, it went smoothly. That was such a blessing for me,” she reveals.
FAMILY NEST
She’s also grateful for her husband, who’s been her anchor through it all. “I salute single parents,” acknowledges Talia, her voice softening. “I don’t know how people do it without support. Having someone there who I can cry to, and who listens to me when I’m overwhelmed, has been a gamechanger.”
The couple’s approach to parenting is evolving, and they’re figuring it out as they go. “Some weeks she naps, some weeks she doesn’t, which can be more intense. Right now, our lives revolve around her. We’re just treading water until she finds her rhythm.”
And, as public figures (Talia has 2.2 million followers across TikTok and Instagram, while Simon is a very popular YouTuber), they’re both extra careful when it comes to their daughter’s privacy. “I’ll share my experiences – my pregnancy, my struggles – but I don’t want to share hers. I want her to have the choice one day about what’s out there.”
SHOOTING FOR THE STARS
Like all mums, Talia has high hopes for her daughter’s future. “I want her to find what she loves,” she smiles, a twinkle in her eyes whenever she talks about Juni. “To have the courage to try things, and to discover the things that make her truly happy. That’s all I want.”
It’s hard to imagine that Talia used to sit alone in the music cupboard at school, writing songs and feeling out of place. Now, she has a successful career, is surrounded by people who love her, and is thriving as a new mother. As she tells me: “Things will all make sense when you’re older.”