Writer, comedian and podcaster Holly Morris received her ADHD diagnosis at 28, followed by an autism diagnosis three years later. She tells Kate Stevenson what it felt like to find the missing piece of her life
In a quiet morning in London, Holly Morris remembers sitting at her kitchen table with a cup of tea growing cold beside her thinking: “There has to be a reason I feel like this. I can’t be the only one who finds life this… confusing.”
She was 28 when she finally got the answer: ADHD. “And the wild part?” she laughs. “I found out I was autistic too. Every single moment of my life – every struggle, every sensitivity, every weird little strength – it suddenly all made sense. I felt so relieved.”
But that clarity was soon followed by grief. “A few weeks later, I just felt sad for all the previous versions of myself,” she admits. “The little girl who didn’t know why everything felt so overwhelming. The teenager who thought everyone else got some guidebook to life. The adult who assumed everyone else was just better at coping.”
UNAPOLOGETICALLY HOLLY
Now, after years of trying to fit into a world that didn’t seem designed for her, Holly speaks openly about embracing both her ADHD and autism. Yet, learning to be more compassionate towards herself hasn’t been easy.
“I used to talk to myself like I was a lazy idiot,” she adds bluntly. “Now I tell myself, ‘Holly, you did great today’. And I mean it.”
One of her favourite tools is her ‘done list’. “I write down everything I’ve done, like brushing my teeth, or doing the washing. I used to only see what I hadn’t achieved, but now I can look and go, ‘You nailed it’.”
Therapy has also been transformative: “I always say my brain feels like a big, tangled ball of wool. Therapy straightens the threads enough that I can breathe.”
And, raised in a family where humour was medicine, Holly leans on comedy to help her navigate the world: “If something’s hard, we joke about it. If something’s painful, we joke about it. For me, comedy is relief.”
That spirit runs through her new podcast, Lousy Advice, co-hosted with her partner Rory. “The internet is full of awful advice,” she explains. “So I thought, why not admit we’re the ones giving it? It’s silly, but it’s honest. And honesty connects people.”
PAVING THE WAY
Perhaps the hardest part has been showing the world her unmasked self: “One day I realised no one actually knew me,” she says softly. “They knew the agreeable version I performed, but that wasn’t me. Now I’m choosing myself, even if it doesn’t or can’t please everyone.”
She calls this phase her ‘roadworks’. “Right now the road’s kind of closed,” she laughs. “But eventually I’ll reopen the lanes, slowly, and in a way that doesn’t make me fall into potholes anymore.”
It won’t happen overnight but, as Holly says: “Progress, however slow, is worth celebrating.”
Follow Holly on Instagram.
Listen to the Lousy Advice podcast on Spotify now.